Week VI Day 42 : Two Kids

Today is our last day to work before Idul Fitri holiday. Like usually, every Friday, one of our staff comes with his wife and kids. His wife also is our staff. And she had appointment with our dentist.

She has a beautiful three months baby boy. When I was baby sitting him, he always cried if I sat. But he stopped crying when I was cradling him in stand up position. He is very heavy and made my arm stiffness. Hahaha... Maybe I should learn to cradling baby first...

And also that staff has daughter, the older one whom is seven year old. She is spoiled and active child. She made me crazy for hours and refused to came back to home. She wanted to stay with me. Hahaha... Maybe I should learn to teach my kids next time to be a self reliance...

Lesson for today : Become a mother is not an easy. I should learn more.

Week VI Day 41 : Life is A Vapor

Today we received a saddest news about one of our colleague. He died because of car accident. And he is still young. That news made me thought about this scripture...

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” ¹⁴ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. ¹⁵ Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” ¹⁶ As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. ¹⁷ If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. James 4: 13-17 NIV

Yeah... Who will know man life? Life is a vapor. It will go anytime. And I want to share also another scripture...

Psalm 90

A prayer of Moses the man of God.

¹ Lord, you have been our dwelling place
    throughout all generations.
² Before the mountains were born
    or you brought forth the whole world,
    from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

³ You turn people back to dust,
    saying, “Return to dust, you mortals.”
⁴ A thousand years in your sight
    are like a day that has just gone by,
    or like a watch in the night.
⁵ Yet you sweep people away in the sleep of death—
    they are like the new grass of the morning:
⁶ In the morning it springs up new,
    but by evening it is dry and withered.

⁷ We are consumed by your anger
    and terrified by your indignation.
⁸ You have set our iniquities before you,
    our secret sins in the light of your presence.
⁹ All our days pass away under your wrath;
    we finish our years with a moan.
¹⁰ Our days may come to seventy years,
    or eighty, if our strength endures;
yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow,
    for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
¹¹ If only we knew the power of your anger!
    Your wrath is as great as the fear that is your due.
¹² Teach us to number our days,
    that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

¹³ Relent, Lord! How long will it be?
    Have compassion on your servants.
¹⁴ Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
    that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
¹⁵ Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
    for as many years as we have seen trouble.
¹⁶ May your deeds be shown to your servants,
    your splendor to their children.

¹⁷ May the favor^[a] of the Lord our God rest on us;
    establish the work of our hands for us—
    yes, establish the work of our hands.

Week VI Day 38-40 : Love Grows Slowly (I Give Up)

25 years ago my Lord introduced himself to me and still love me until now. For 25 years, He has never been giving up on me. Again He has been proving his love to me. He is very patient. He has been still waiting my love to grow. And...

After 25 years... My love grows slowly.....

Thank you Lord for waiting...

Week VI Day 37 : On The Way To Clinic

4 days ago, when I was biking to clinic, I saw woman whom rode motorcycle with her daughter. Then I heard that little girl whispered verses of Quran. They discussed about verses of Quran. That made me wonder. A beautiful moment when a mom teached her children.

And slowly, I remembered this scripture...

But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15

 Lord, if one day You give me an opportunity to have my own family, I will teach my children about You. I will teach them about Your love. Amien...

Week V Day 36 : Yes I Do

"Promise me you'll always remember : You're braver than you believe, stronger than you seem and smarter than you think."-Christopher Robin to Winnie the Pooh

Yes... I do...

Week V Day 34-35 : Amazing Love

I'm forgiven, because You were forsaken
I'm accepted, You were condemned
I'm alive and well, Your Spirit is within me
Because You died and rose again

I'm forgiven, because You were forsaken
I'm accepted, You were condemned
I'm alive and well, Your Spirit is within me
Because You died and rose again

Amazing love, how can it be
That You my King would die for me
Amazing love, I know it's true
It's my joy to honor You
Amazing love, how can it be
That You my King would die for me
Amazing love, I know it's true
It's my joy to honor You 
In all I do I honor You

I'm forgiven, because You were forsaken
I'm accepted, You were condemned
I'm alive and well, Your Spirit is within me
Because You died and rose again

Week V Day 31-33 : Because She Would Ask Me Why I Loved Her.

If questioning could make us wise
no eyes would ever gaze in eyes;
if all our tale were told in speech
no mouths would wander each to each.

Were spirits free from mortal mesh
and love not bound in hearts of flesh
no aching breasts would yearn to meet
and find their ecstacy complete.

For who is there that loves and knows
the secret powers by which he grows?
Were knowledge all, what were our need
to thrill and faint and swertly bleed?

Then seek not, sweet, the If and Why
I love you now until I die:
For I must love because I live
And life in me is what you give.

Christopher John Brennan

Week V Day 30 : An Afternoon Conversation

This afternoon, I and friends had a conversation with one of our medical volunteer. She (our medical volunteer) said that when she was single, she hoped that she would married soon and had a lot of children. She dreamed about nice conversation while they (family) was having meal. They could shared thoughts together. But when she has married, life wasn't like what she expected for. She had busy life and dinner wasn't as good as what she dreamed about. They argued each other. And for life, she had to worked hard. She said that for female doctor, you should sacriface for your family. You should become a woman, mother and also wife. Wake up in the morning and go to sleep late in the night. Life is not as easy as you expect especially when you married.

This afternoon conversation make me realize that I have to prepare myself for married life. And the best time is when I am single. After read Lady in Waiting, I thought that I should have a great relationship with my Lord before I get married. I should spend more time with Him. Being a single is the best privilage. Although, I still dream to have my own family. And still praying. But... I think I want to enjoy my time now.

Thank you Lord for everything. For this last days when You have teached me a lot. Thank you for shaping my characters. Thank you for repent me. Forgive my sins... Thank you lead me back to You...

Thank you for loving me...

Week V Day 29 : The Gift

I watched again A Perfect Stranger movie. And it made me sure that the best gift in my life is Jesus Christ.

Week IV Day 27-28 : My Best Friend

Jesus is my best friend. He provides everything for me

The Lord is my shepherd, I lack nothing.
2     He makes me lie down in green pastures,
he leads me beside quiet waters,
3     he refreshes my soul.
He guides me along the right paths
    for his name’s sake.
4 Even though I walk
    through the darkest valley,[a]
I will fear no evil,
    for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
    they comfort me.

5 You prepare a table before me
    in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
    my cup overflows.
6 Surely your goodness and love will follow me
    all the days of my life,
and I will dwell in the house of the Lord
    forever. Psalm 23 (NIV)

Week IV Day 25-26 : Two Are Better Than One

Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4 : 9-12

I don't know why but this day I considered about two are better than one. Sometimes I need a friend who can understand me and also support me. Before, I think I can live alone but now I think that I need friend to live and love me

Week IV Day 23-24 : Poker Face

Last this two days, I just have thought about poker face. Sometimes we meet people who is nice but inside their heart they are hypocrite. And it makes me think, should I be like them too?

Week IV Day 22 : Still The Same

Stuck in... Hiks... This night I am evaluating my commitment but... There is no changing... 

Week III Day 21 : I Put Him on God's Hand

I miss him. Really miss him. I love him. Really love him. I just met him once and for a month. I don't know anything about him. Is he the one for me? I don't know. I want to know him more. That's way I put him on God's hand.

Week III Day 18-20 : Surrender

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:11-13

Week III Day 15-17 : Missed Morning Devotion And Prayer

Last this three days, I woke up late and missed morning devotion and prayer. It made me sad. I still keep try to be a Lady in Waiting