Week IX-X : Day 57-63 Change My Heart First

Sometimes I feel... God, before I hate someone, blame someone, hurt someone, do terible things please change my heart first and pray for them.

God, this is my prayer

Change my heart oh God,
make it ever true.
Change my heart oh God,
may I be like You.
You are the potter, I am the clay,
Mold me and make me, This is what I pray.
Jesus oh Jesus
Come and fill your lamb 

Week VIII-IX Day 49-56 : I Am Blessed

Sky is not always blue
Sometimes there is no stars above
Ocean has a storm and high tide

Life sometimes badly treats me
Tears hides behind my smile
No one even cares

Then I kneel down
And lift all sorrow in me
Rainbow after the rain
Remind me about God's promise

He always walks with me

I am blessed

Week VI-VII Day 43-48 : I Have Been Missing Him So Much

Almost five months he came back to his country. Since that day I have been missing him so much. I hope he will come back soon.

Week VI Day 42 : Two Kids

Today is our last day to work before Idul Fitri holiday. Like usually, every Friday, one of our staff comes with his wife and kids. His wife also is our staff. And she had appointment with our dentist.

She has a beautiful three months baby boy. When I was baby sitting him, he always cried if I sat. But he stopped crying when I was cradling him in stand up position. He is very heavy and made my arm stiffness. Hahaha... Maybe I should learn to cradling baby first...

And also that staff has daughter, the older one whom is seven year old. She is spoiled and active child. She made me crazy for hours and refused to came back to home. She wanted to stay with me. Hahaha... Maybe I should learn to teach my kids next time to be a self reliance...

Lesson for today : Become a mother is not an easy. I should learn more.

Week VI Day 41 : Life is A Vapor

Today we received a saddest news about one of our colleague. He died because of car accident. And he is still young. That news made me thought about this scripture...

Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” ¹⁴ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. ¹⁵ Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” ¹⁶ As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. ¹⁷ If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them. James 4: 13-17 NIV

Yeah... Who will know man life? Life is a vapor. It will go anytime. And I want to share also another scripture...

Psalm 90

A prayer of Moses the man of God.

¹ Lord, you have been our dwelling place
    throughout all generations.
² Before the mountains were born
    or you brought forth the whole world,
    from everlasting to everlasting you are God.

³ You turn people back to dust,
    saying, “Return to dust, you mortals.”
⁴ A thousand years in your sight
    are like a day that has just gone by,
    or like a watch in the night.
⁵ Yet you sweep people away in the sleep of death—
    they are like the new grass of the morning:
⁶ In the morning it springs up new,
    but by evening it is dry and withered.

⁷ We are consumed by your anger
    and terrified by your indignation.
⁸ You have set our iniquities before you,
    our secret sins in the light of your presence.
⁹ All our days pass away under your wrath;
    we finish our years with a moan.
¹⁰ Our days may come to seventy years,
    or eighty, if our strength endures;
yet the best of them are but trouble and sorrow,
    for they quickly pass, and we fly away.
¹¹ If only we knew the power of your anger!
    Your wrath is as great as the fear that is your due.
¹² Teach us to number our days,
    that we may gain a heart of wisdom.

¹³ Relent, Lord! How long will it be?
    Have compassion on your servants.
¹⁴ Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love,
    that we may sing for joy and be glad all our days.
¹⁵ Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us,
    for as many years as we have seen trouble.
¹⁶ May your deeds be shown to your servants,
    your splendor to their children.

¹⁷ May the favor^[a] of the Lord our God rest on us;
    establish the work of our hands for us—
    yes, establish the work of our hands.

Week VI Day 38-40 : Love Grows Slowly (I Give Up)

25 years ago my Lord introduced himself to me and still love me until now. For 25 years, He has never been giving up on me. Again He has been proving his love to me. He is very patient. He has been still waiting my love to grow. And...

After 25 years... My love grows slowly.....

Thank you Lord for waiting...

Week VI Day 37 : On The Way To Clinic

4 days ago, when I was biking to clinic, I saw woman whom rode motorcycle with her daughter. Then I heard that little girl whispered verses of Quran. They discussed about verses of Quran. That made me wonder. A beautiful moment when a mom teached her children.

And slowly, I remembered this scripture...

But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your forefathers served beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15

 Lord, if one day You give me an opportunity to have my own family, I will teach my children about You. I will teach them about Your love. Amien...